She likes to watch her neighbor play catch with their dog on their front lawn — the demonstration of faith between human and canine soothing her soul. The dog is well trained — watches the ball, brings it back to the owner, places it at her feet. The dog knows the game. The dog does not defy expectation.
Yet every now and then, her heartbeat spikes as the ball rises in the air too high or too fast or is knocked out into the street. Will there be a car running the stop sign today? Will the ball roll under the car, preventing the dog from playing the game? Will the second dog the neighbors own run after the ball and start playing its own game. Ninety percent of the time, nothing goes wrong.
But it’s the other ten percent that seems to matter to her the most.
Ten percent of her classmates thought she would go to Harvard or some other top Ivy League school. Princeton, Yale, Brown — somewhere out-of-state and expensive, where all the smart kids went.
But to their shock, she didn’t.
Her high school college counselor thought it best that she take some form of math her senior year.
But to the counselor’s shock, she didn’t.
She thought that the only way to get a job and make money was to work for someone else and at someone’s complete and total discretion.
But to her shock, she didn’t.
For all the times that she has stayed within the lines, playing hopscotch with society and logic, there are moments where she steps out and defies them. Conversely, there are times when her own expectations are defied.
And so, she asks herself:
Will she catch the ball this time?
Will she throw instead?